


Water Wit

by FurorNocturna



Category: Hazbin Hotel (Web Series)
Genre: Cheering the other up, F/M, Hurricane of Puns, Kisses, cheese galore, rainy day, secret santa gift, simple fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:28:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28228398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FurorNocturna/pseuds/FurorNocturna
Summary: Alastor uses a downpour to make lots of water puns. And to cheer up his down in the dumps beloved.
Relationships: Alastor/Charlie Magne
Comments: 7
Kudos: 55





	Water Wit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ObsessedKatie](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=ObsessedKatie).



> Hope you have pun with this, Katie!
> 
> And super shoutout to the ever magnificent WifeoftheSouless for her additional help in getting out the kinks! You’re a goddess and I do not deserve you.

Charlie couldn’t name why exactly she was in such a sullen mood that day.

Maybe it was the hotel's inactivity. Or how everyone else was away or off busying themselves with something else, leaving her on her lonesome.

Niffty had stumbled upon an untouched room in the hotel that had been gathering dust and cobwebs for at least a decade the other day. She promptly informed her employer that she would be spending all of her time today making it spotless and not to wait up.

Angel, ever the loose cannon patron under her care, had settled on taking the day out in the local bars, purposely taunting Charlie with the possibility of him staying over for some debauched activity.

Vaggie normally would have come to her aid on a day like this. Putting on a movie and supplying the both of them with junk food and takeout for some fun girltime one-on-one. Unfortunately, the moth demon had to run some errands for the hotel, and since their entire ring was a cesspit of turf wars and bloodthirsty maniacs, even simple grocery runs became a daunting task. Of course Charlie had little doubts that Vaggie knew how to handle herself, she was going to be gone a while.

The dreary downpour thundering outside certainly wouldn’t make Vaggie trip any quicker _and_ it wasn’t helping the princess’s low spirits.

Alastor… well, she had no idea _where_ the infamous radio demon had ventured.

She fiddled with her fingers, selfishly wishing his shadow would shoot across the walls for a quick tease, ushering in the inevitable appearance of her boyfriend. Yet she’s quite used to her wishes being ignored, with the torrential rainfall’s refrain echoing through the eerie halls.

All that was missing was some clichéd somber background music to cap off the miserable scene.

“What are you even bummed out about?” Charlie chided herself. “It’s not like you’re not used to being alone.”

She runs her dark nails through her long golden locks with a sigh, all but forcing the thoughts away.

Almost numbly, Charlie finds herself wandering into the lobby.

It was so quiet without even Husk guzzling a bottle at his usual spot at the bar. Or snoring passed out under it.

Deflating more, Charlie heavily turns her heel to head back to her room. She’ll just turn in early, maybe snuggle on Razzle and Dazzle while she puts on her favorite rom-coms.

Only, the moment she turns her back, there’s a knock on the door that stops her in her tracks.

A familiar ‘shave and a haircut’ rhythm.

Charlie makes her way to open the door, curious. There was only one person she knew who knocked that way. Glowering suspiciously through the stained glass windows, she can hardly make out the shape through the wall of rain. While she’s certain it’s only her cheesy co-hotel owner, who uses the classic gag like a calling card whenever he rapped on a door, Charlie nevertheless braces herself for a potential enemy.

Caution must always be exercised when one lived in Hell.

Unlocking the door, the hinges squeak with anticipation, her eyes slow to peak beyond the threshold.

Lo and behold, there stood a very soggy Radio Demon on the hotel’s front doorstep.

The sodden figure stands bolt upright, his phosphorescent eyes curtained under a drape of red and black hair. Usually upright ears droop low from waterlogging, two black antlers poking above the scalp. Peeking beyond the droopy coiffure, she recognizes the edges of the sharp-toothed smile. 

The sharp suit clung tight to his bony frame, but his posture is not hindered in the slightest.

“Alastor!”

“Ah! Thank you for answering so quickly, my dear! Hellish weather out here we’re having today!” he rattles off jovially, letting himself in.

“Not that I’m not happy to see you, but what were you doing to get yourself like this?” Charlie hazards to ask.

Alastor was something of a wildcard to put it lightly. Charlie could only wonder what he was doing on his own prior to his return. Let alone why he was still in a water-drenched state.

“Nothing to concern yourself over, my dear. Just my usual errands and then got caught out in the rain we’re having.”

Charlie flails her arms around the growing puddle around the other. “You’re all wet!!”

Her exclamation earned her little more than an odd look. “I dare say I’m not the only one who’s ‘all wet’ right this moment! And that certainly won’t do!”

It took Charlie a moment to remember the double meaning that phrase had to the former serial killer of the 1920-30s.

She shook her head. “Never mind me right now! Just use your voodoo tricks or let me go get you some towels so you can dry up!”

Alastor merely raised a brow.

“You want me to ‘dry up’? You’ll have to be more specific, darling. That phrase had multiple meanings back in my lifetime!”

 _Damn it! Not again!_ “I meant dry _off!_ Niffty’s gonna throw a fit if she comes back to this mess!”

“Ah yes. Nothing quite puts a rain on her parade like an untidy mess!”

_Oh no._

_He’s doing it on purpose._

“Alastor–”

“Not as much of a wet blanket as that mothy friend of yours–”

“No.”

“Always storming off over something, that one! Or putting that effeminate fellow in hot water for his antics! But goodness! When Niffty kicks up a storm getting into a tizzy over uncleanliness? Oh! She goes right off the deep end!”

The princess puffs her cheeks. “I know what you’re doing! Quit it!”

“Can’t stop me now, dearest. I’ve got a good flow going! They’re raining amok!”

“Stoooooop!” she fought off a snicker, hiding it in the low bellow.

Alastor paid her no mind, instead occupying himself with wringing out his hair and coat. “My my, I really am soaked to the bone. Wet through the skin! Waterly waterlogged! You could say I’m a rain deer today!”

She doesn’t quite hide her snort that time. “That was terrible!”

“Not as bad as the downpour of precipisatan outside. I’m just thankful it wasn’t a Hail Satan day!”

Charlie coughed loud and harshly into her fist, nearly choking on her own breath.

_No._

_NO!_

_YOU WILL NOT BREAK!_

_Not like this, Charlie Magne!_

Alastor feigned contemplation, bringing a hand to his chin. “Why just imagine how ridiculous the weather report would be if that’s how it was blazoned on the news! _‘_ Tomorrow’s weather calls for severe fog! Expect high amounts of condensatan!’ ”  
  
 _Especially not to the_ stupidest _of his_ _quips!!_

Through sheer force of will, Charlie forced a calm composure and a straight face.

“As Princess of Hell, the heir to the throne, and as your girlfriend I order you to…to cease and desist this at once!”

“No no no, I mustn’t! Hell is already being drowned in this awful weather today, and it had you drowning in an unidentified sorrow, _mon rayon de soleil!_ I refuse to let it dampen your spirits any further! As your beau and dashing significant other, I shan’t allow it! I’ll be damned before I do!”

By then, Charlie had given up fighting and gave in. Her laughter echoed loud and hearty across the lobby walls, with Alastor’s own chortles harmonizing with hers. Charlie‘s mirth continued until her sides hurt and her tears dried.

Alastor lifts her gaze to his with a finger under her chin. “There we are now. Have we put an end to those pesky waterworks? Have your tears and woes finally ebbed, my sweet?

“Did you…Did you stay drenched on purpose just to make all those puns?” she managed to wheeze out.

“Water you talking about, dearest?”

“How?” she heaved. “How do you always have so many on the ready? How do you just have so many puns…?!”

“A performer must always have a well-th of material at his disposal in order to entertain his audience,” Alastor answers candidly.

Charlie ends up giggling again despite herself. The moment of silence doesn’t last as Alastor cups her rosy cheek in his hand, making her shudder from the soft caress of his thumb.

“In every life a little rain must fall…and what always comes after the rain, my sweet?”

“Rainbows.”

“Precisely!” Alastor beamed. “And there’s my leading lady’s beautiful sunny smile! It’s returned at last from behind the clouds!”

Charlie’s grin shifts into a sultry smirk. “And I believe my leading man deserves a special reward for his deeds today, don’t you think?”

“Hmm?”

Alastor can barely catch himself in time when Charlie grabs his bow tie, pulling his face closer to lock her lips with his.

Alastor was many things.

To most, he was an arrogant, powerful and unpredictable Overlord.

To her, he was still all those things. He was also someone she could dance with, could sing along with, and could laugh along with.

Even if she could never know for sure what to expect from him at any given moment, what Charlie _did_ know is that she could always count on Alastor to make her smile again.

And that was one of the things she loved about him most.

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Holidays!


End file.
